1. Boy Bands Ugh. Slaughter me if you must in the comments,
Jonas Bros.fans, but your breakthrough boys kind of sounded
like crap last night,and were certainly not helped by whoever
cranked their nasally, out-of-key vocals way too loud in the
mix. (Doesn't anyone rehearse with their people in the truck
anymore?) Technical issues aside, there was something generally
unfocused and unbelievable about the confluence of puppy angst
and kitten-soft falsetto on "Tonight," and I think Jimmy Eat World
wants their mixtape back. Meanwhile, over in Stonehenge, that
sloppy New Kids on the Block medley would have struggled to make
the grade at Hershey Park on a Tuesday afternoon, and at least
two of those guys now look like dentists. Chris Brown has sneezed better.

1. Blond Ladies How I'd love to go back to 1999 and put money
down on Christina Aguilera to kick Britney's ass. The mistress
of melisma is pushing a greatest hits collection at the moment,
giving her the night's best excuse for performing a medley and
underscoring just how rare it is that any artist survives an ass-less
chaps phase with dignity intact.Even though I couldn't help but
think Dude, that's somebody's MOM in the middle of "Dirrty,"
she was a hell of a way to kick off the show, and her platinum
sisters followed suit: Pink was introduced by Weiland as "one of
the great artists of our time," and I got my pen out to write something
snarky but then realized I kind of agreed with him and sat back to watch
her demonstrate the proper way to both pull off a purple ballgown
and bounce back from heartache with new single "Sober"; she also
made Sarah McLachlan more interesting than she's been in 10 years
by joining her on "Angel" and throwing a little grit on all the treacle.
Natasha Bedingfield started classic and clean, bringing welcome
vocal simplicity on "Unwritten" before everything got all clogged
up by those unnecessary breakdancers during "Pocketful of Sunshine."
My arch-nemesis Taylor Swift put in her best broadcast television
appearance yet, once she got off the couch and actually started to
sing "White Horse," and I'll let up on her if she promises to strive
for that level of visible human emotion every time she performs.
But the biggest blond bombshell of all was, hands down,
Ms. Annie Lennox, winner of a special merit award and the best
advertisement for living past 50 I've seen in years. One wonders
if all these (surely Simon Fuller-sponsored) TV appearances Annie's
been making of late are translating into any record sales amongst
the Swift set -- but if they aren't, at least those of us old enough
to already have all her records are getting the benefit of ferociously
gorgeous performances like "Why" along the way. The look in her
eyes on the line "This boat is sinking" basically decimated me.
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