GadgetRatty: Terminator: Gadgetry Salvation for Sarah Connor Chronicles

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Terminator: Gadgetry Salvation for Sarah Connor Chronicles

2008-10-09 06:18:09 by Brian X. Chen in Gadget Lab

Apparently Sarah Connor's devilish charm and ripped biceps aren't enough to prevent the Terminator show's own judgment day.

Fox will be saying "Hasta la vista, baby" to Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles if the series' ratings don't find salvation. Every subsequent season-two episode has seen a drop in viewership, and it's unlikely Chronicles will be back for a third round if the decline persists, an SCC insider told Entertainment Weekly.

Wait a minute — a sci-fi TV series set in 2008 involving robots trying to destroy the world? What better opportunity to toss in some of the hottest new gadgets to revitalize viewer interest? Oddly enough, the Connors thus far have been using mostly analog gear — screwdrivers, shot guns and cleavage — to infiltrate Skynet. Why not treat themselves with some retail/warfare therapy? Surely, the Connors have to carry some disposable income if they're running to-and-fro with wads of benjis stuffed in their jeans.

Here's a list of some juicy new gadgets we'd like to see appear on the show.

Wasp Knife

Who can resist the Wasp Knife ? Designed for divers, the stainless steel knife contains a gas canister in the handle, which injects a "freezing cold ball of compressed gas, approximately the size of a basketball" when you stab a victim. Remember how in Terminator 2, Arnie needed to crash a truckload of liquid nitrogen on top of the T-1000 just to freeze him? The Wasp Knife would produce the same effect, albeit smaller. Multiple stabs should send Shirley Manson back to her frozen career as a has-been rock star singing about the rain and being complicated.

Taser Shockwave

The Connors don't just have Manson, the liquid metal fembot, to worry about. There's a T-800 after John, too, and his guardian, Cameron, is a T-800 hottie who's been prone to robo-emotional malfunction. The TASER Shockwave should fend off these metallic death knights. This big, bad mofo shoots six inch-long probes emitting 50,000 volts of electricity. TASER designed the Shockwave to paralyze crowds, meaning it should be enough to put a T-800 out of commission just for long enough to scoop out its silicon brains. The Shockwave's been a highly controversial device, but since when did controversy hurt a show's ratings?

Gypsy Belt

Sarah Connor is a MILF you don't want to mess with, and the Gypsy Belt should provide her extra protection without damaging her fashion cred. The Gypsy Belt set consists of a leather belt and a cast zinc buckle that doubles as a blade. Imagine what a great scene this would make, where Sarah gets to demonstrate her skills in seduction and knifeplay at the same time. Hawt.

Samsung X360

Being humanity's last hope, Johnny is constantly on the run from those malicious Terminators out to squash him. But he isn't destined to lead the human resistance against the Terminators simply because he's a good runner; he's supposedly a gifted hacker, too, who has the power to reprogram Terminators to be "good." Thus, he needs a highly capable, lightweight laptop. Not a netbook, mind you: We can barely even type essays on those puny things. Not a MacBook Air, either: If games aren't Mac-compatible, what makes you think Terminators are? Samsung's upcoming X360 is the best option. Weighing in at 2.8 pounds, it's actually a wee bit lighter than the MacBook Air, and it runs Windows on the new Intel Centrino 2 platform. The 13.3-inch screen should be enough for John to get his bizniz done. Plus, the 120GB solid state drive is less prone to damage since there are no moving parts — which could help John's precious data survive a nasty car crash. Because you know how much the Connors love getting in car accidents.

GPS Snitch

Surprisingly, the Connors seem to give their "guardian" bot Cameron quite a bit of freedom to roam around despite her ability to kill anything that crosses her path. The GPS Snitch, which combines cellular and GPS technologies, alerts owners via text message when their vehicles have moved beyond a set perimeter; a precise location of the device can be tracked online in real time. This would make a pretty good scene in an episode: John removes Cameron's "brain" chip to conduct some "surgery" on her. And being the computer genius he is, John tears off the enclosure of the Snitch and figures out a way to cram it inside Cameron and hook it up to her self-generating battery. No more runaway robots for Johnny! He could also use the Snitch in the future when the two have a robo-human love affair and he suspects she's cheating on him.

Got any more gadget suggestions? Feel free to submit some ideas and pictures you'd like to see in Chronicles in the reddit widget below.

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